Part IV: Hugs all around
So that’s how we were going to play it. A tall gangly stoner with keys to a Benz, a missing roommate who probably had 12 tattoos by that point, an innocent bystander who probably regretted even waking up that morning, seven hundred thousand hippies, and me.
And we all had to get [...]
Entries Tagged as ‘It's awkward now’
November 8, 2009
Letters From The Bay, Week 12: Hardly Strictly Hugs
October 10, 2009
Letters From The Bay, Week 12: Hardly Strictly Oh Hell No!
Part III: Plaidtastic
It was getting late. We had tromped from stage to stage, toting our cooler and snacks all the live long day. The sun had gone down, we had come down, and it was starting to get chilly in the forest.
And by chilly I mean effing freezing, naturally. San Francisco summers are notoriously cold, [...]
October 5, 2009
Letters From The Bay, Week 12: Hardly Strictly Hungry
Part I: No Pants, No Problem
It all started with a bowl of oatmeal.
I generally don’t like to start out my stories with “it all started out with…” but what I’m about to tell you is such a clusterfuck, it requires three separate blog posts and the only way to start such a thing is at [...]
April 27, 2009
My story is much too sad to be told
And practically everything leaves me suddenly cold. *
Yes, that’s right. It has snowed. Yet again.
Upon backing out of my driveway this morning, I saw my neighbor’s beautiful red and gold tulips were capped with white, like little hats. They were fancy, those tulips, and clearly had put on their hats to do something fun. Off to the opera [...]
April 9, 2009
The Mister: 201?
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury: The Mister has…made a reappearance of sorts.
More information to come.
After I’m done processing what this means.
And after I’ve located all the missing pieces of my heart, which was thoroughly crushed, and shattered into approximately one thousand forty seven point two pieces after the last time.
I think I see a [...]
March 24, 2009
Too drunk to wear this trench coat
Two Very! Important! Things!
1. Though perhaps implied by the below post, I do not have a husband or children. I am much too young for that. At least, I think so. You can do the masthead math and judge for yourself. In fact, I’ve recently been quoted as saying that all my friends are getting [...]
March 19, 2009
Downward Bear
“Hilary, no wonder your back hurts – you haven’t been doing your exercise things lately. You know, that exercise you do…you know.”
“Uh, no Dad! Please, enlighten me! What exercise thing is it that I do?”
“You know, that funny Japanese thing! You know? You know!”
“Ummmm, no.”
“Yeah, it’s Japanese, like tai-chi. Or like aerobics. Hilary. Don’t act like [...]
February 24, 2009
What we’re doing today
Reminding me why is it, exactly, that I don’t look good with Taraji P. Henson’s hair? Why shouldn’t I cut all my hair off? Can anybody think of a good reason?
Because I can’t.
Other than the fact that I had that haircut once and it looked wretched on me. But no matter! I am stubborn! I [...]
February 23, 2009
The gift that keeps on giving
So, as previously discussed, I got some sun in Mexico.
I was looking fairly to moderately hot last week.
But now…
My skin is peeling off. I’ve gone from red, to splotchy, to kinda tan, to peeling.
I look not unlike a swamp thing. But only on my stomach, my ankles, and half of one leg.
Let this be a [...]
February 16, 2009
Don we now our tutus and sombreros
Did you know that more than 50 of you lovely readers watched the “I’d Rather Dance” video below last week? Just thought you’d like to know. Have you watched it yet? Have you been bowled over by its cuteness while simultaneously felt compelled to don a tutu? Have you used “don” in a sentence (other [...]
