I had a dream last night. Or rather, this morning.
You know that weird 20-ish minutes before the alarm goes off, where you’re in the deepest level of REM sleep? You know how sometimes, on this blog, I make shit up and it sounds like I know what I’m talking about? You know that time?
I was [...]
Entries Tagged as ‘Quotes’
April 8, 2009
Karma: both a bitch and a dinosaur. Discuss.
March 25, 2009
How to annoy me:
Pronounce the word idea as idear.
“Well, I had the idear of putting the phone number directly on the form, so…”
Unless you are British, this is not funny or cute. It’s annoying. And without the fetching British accent, it also makes you sound like you came from a trailer park.
Unless you did come from a trailer [...]
March 10, 2009
Every dream that you wish will come true
“I dreamt about food processors last night. And also, Abe Lincoln.”
“What do you think that means?”
“That Abe has a hankering for pesto and would like me to have all appropriate tools necessary to whip some up for him?”
“Yeah, it probably does mean that.”
“Or the ghost of Abe Lincoln is taking over Santa’s job and will [...]
January 30, 2009
Random Sample
Inspired by this, I decided to take a look at my own notebook.
Like most writers/artists/people with lots of ideas, I have a notebook. Not a sketchbook, for that is far too limiting. Not a writer’s notebook, specifically, as that implies that no sketching is allowed. It’s not a journal (too many rules), it doesn’t have [...]
November 13, 2008
Not just part, but WHOLE
I was driving home from work the other day when I passed a Boston Chicken. Boston Market. Boston Moderately-Speedy Food Chain Place.
I wasn’t really paying attention to what the store was called, on account of the sign they had in the window.
It said $1.99 WHOLE CHICKEN.
I don’t even know what to say about that.
You guys? [...]
October 24, 2008
I can see clearly now
“How’s the whole contacts thing goin’ for you Hil?”
“Uh, well, I tried again and I cried again. So, like any reasonable adult, I’ve decided to just quit trying. Until I’m a candidate for Lasik, I’m just going to get cute glasses and call it a day.
After all, every time I try my face gets so [...]
October 8, 2008
I am here for you…with my awesome haiku skillz…Keep reading, yes please!
So, as it turns out, LP is really good at haiku writing, too. Real good. Like, rice-eating, kimono-wearing, I Can’t Believe She’s Not Asian! good.
LP, I know I’m pimping you out on the interweb – or geisha-ing you out, if we’re to be in keeping with our politically incorrect and completely insensitive, mixed-up Asia theme here [...]
September 17, 2008
In addition to the healthcare, pirates are also a concern
I’ve been sleeping unusually well for the past week. Usually I wake up at 3 a.m. on the dot, for no discernable reason, and prompty have strange hallucinations alone in my room. These often include scenarios in which I’m lying in bed, but in a classroom and trying valiantly to stay awake (because, you know, [...]
September 10, 2008
Twist and Shout…in pain
Me – “You know, we should really invest in some more board games, since playing board games is really the only thing that holds our attention enough that we forget that we’re not… you know. Let’s face it – I’m way too young to have your babies.”
The Mister – “That’s a good idea. We need to broaden [...]
April 8, 2008
All 32, if he’s lucky
“I’m pretty sure he is moving here from Virginia. Or maybe Vermont…? I can’t remember.”
“Why does it matter? People from Vermont, on average, have more teeth. That’s the only difference.”
